Rose, Rape, and Teaching Grown People the Definition of Consent
Although I am an advocate for both domestic violence awareness and rape culture education, I must admit that I absolutely do not enjoy talking about it. Many times the topic and cases used to teach are very triggering which produce anger and negative thoughts and feelings but still, I am determined to educate people on the realism of both of these issues. I feel that it is a mission of mine and with my voice, I will continue to talk about it, as much as I am able.
Let’s talk about Derrick Rose, who played for the Chicago Bulls and who is now signed with the New York Knicks, and his recent rape lawsuit that goes to trial on October 4th.
this chump right here…smh
What we know is that an unidentified woman (“Jane Doe”) had a sporadic relationship with Rose from 2011 to 2013. In her lawsuit, the woman claimed that one night, Rose had a car pick her and her friend up from her apartment to bring to his LA home for partying and good times. The driver got lost and was three hours late in picking the two women up. While they waited on the car, they consumed alcohol. When the driver arrived, she drank more in the vehicle and then she drank more when she arrived at Rose’s home. Eventually the victim’s friend wanted to leave but would not leave her friend alone in the house. Both women were taken back to Doe’s home and her friend did not leave her until she was completely safe at home. When she got home, Doe texted with Rose and asked him to come back to her house by himself. He said he would send his driver back to pick her up but she insisted that he come by himself to her house. Eventually, he obliged and came to her house; only this time, he brought three other men with him……he was not by himself. That night, he texted and called Doe when he had arrived multiple times to wake her up, as she had fallen asleep by this point, and at some interval, they were able to get into her apartment (possibly from her roommate). And the rest is history.
Doe said she woke up with her dress around her neck and underwear on, lubricant all over her body, and used condoms all over the room. She could not recall anything that happened initially, asking her roommate what had went on, if she was okay, if she was alert, and the like. It was not until the following days and weeks that Doe would slowly remember bits and pieces of what happened. She didn’t initially call a lawyer or make a case of it until her friend talked her into it because in her mind, “this was not supposed to happen”
When Rose was asked why the other men came along with him to Doe’s house, he said, “We men. You can assume”
Okay. *walks away*
No. Not okay. *comes back*
Let’s talk about consent.
Recently it has come to my attention that grown people do not realize that consent must be present in order for sexual acts to occur legally. If someone is excessively drunk, they cannot legally consent to sex. If one person is sober and the other person is not, the sober person should not have sex. There are way too many areas for confusion and mistakes and in this particular case, from beginning to end, there was nothing about this case that alluded to Doe consenting to sex with Rose and his three friends at all. In fact, throughout their relationship, Rose often suggested group sex in the form of threesomes and foursomes with Doe and each time, she reported to being uncomfortable with those types of scenarios. He even bought her a MacBook so that she can Skype him and masturbate on camera for him and when she wouldn’t do it “correctly”, he would get upset with her.
Much of the things that have come out about this case has come from Rose himself. He admitted that she was always uncomfortable with group sex whenever he brought it up, admitted that she wasn’t comfortable on Skype with him, and even admitted that she had fallen asleep that night and that she had been drinking all night and went home drunk (she even burned her hand at his house as a result of her being so inebriated).
The bottom line here is CONSENT!
And there is nothing in this case that serves as an indicator that that consent was given. However, when asked why he believes that she gave consent, he says, “she always posts sexual photos on Instagram; she wanted it”…..
You cannot justify gang raping a woman based on her photos. It is foolish to believe that a woman (or man) automatically gives up their right to say “yes” or “no” to any sex act based on some photos they have taken or even previous actions that they have done. No.
Consent is defined as, “permission for something to happen or agreement to do something”
If a person is inebriated, they cannot consent to sex at all. Why not? Because their decision-making skills are compromised due to alcohol. It is akin to saying that a person that is inebriated should be able to drive. No. Driving involves many decisions to be made. And we all know this. So with that said, how can someone reasonably ascertain that that same drunk person that cannot drive because their mind is compromised is also able to consent to sex?
It does not work that way. Consent.is.necessary.prior.to.engaging.in.sex
Everyone loves a good graph, right?
Oh, and I used to LOVE Derrick Rose. But after reading all of this, I am not only disgusted but I am disappointed as well. In my book, he absolutely participated in gang raping Doe and it is just extremely unfortunate all the way around.
Educate yourselves on this case as well via these links. They are very helpful.